Moses supposes his toeses are roses
But Moses supposes erroneously
For Moses he knowses his toeses aren’t roses
As Moses supposes his toeses to be |
Now Kissle will whistle at busty Miss. Russell
Who’ll rustle and bustle till Kissle will roar
So Russell asked Axle for Kissle’s dismissal
And this’ll teach Kissle to whistle no more |
Tito and Tato were tattooed in total
But Toto was only tattooed on his toe
So Tato told Tito where Toto was tattooed
But Tito said Toto’s tattoo wouldn’t show |
Theda thought Thora was thumping her thimble
But Thomas thought Thora was thumping her drum
Said Theda if Thora’s not thumping her thimble
I think that she surely is thumping her thumb |
Now Charley is chary when choosing his cheeses
And cheese is a challenge when Charley arrives
When Charley is charming and chooses a cheddar
Then chews it and chips it and chops in some chives |
Heda is hoping to hop to Tahiti
To hack a hibiscus to hang on her hat
Now Heda has hundreds of hats on her hat-rack
So how can a hop to Tahiti help that |
Snobby Miss. Nora is sniffing her snuffer
The snuffer’s no sniffing it makes Nora sneeze
When Snyda lets Nort know his Nora is sneezing
She snappily snorts Nora’s sneezing a breeze |
Sheila is selling her shop at the seashore
For shops at the seashore are so sure to lose
And she’s not so sure of what she should be selling
Should Sheila sell seashells or should she sell shoes |
From the lyrics of Danny Kaye's Tongue Twisters
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silly
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Posted by JStandlee on September 10, 2010 08:40
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I need one of these...
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garfield
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Posted by JStandlee on September 11, 2009 09:41
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Post Turtle
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While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, who's hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to how Obama was doing as President of the United States.
The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Obama is a 'Post Turtle'".
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.
The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'".
The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, and he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with". |
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Posted by JStandlee on May 21, 2009 18:00
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If you run after a car, you will get exhausted.
If you run in front of a car, you will get tired.
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Posted by JStandlee on March 19, 2009 14:37
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Rain on the Range
When your boots are full of water and your hat brim's all a-drip,
And the rain makes little rivers dribblin' down your horse's hip,
When every step your pony takes, it purt near bogs him down,
It's then you git to thinkin' of them boys that work in town.
They're maybe sellin' ribbon, or they're maybe slingin' hash,
but they've got a roof above 'em when the thunder starts to crash.
They do their little doin's, be their wages low or high,
But let it rain till hell's a pond, they're always warm and dry.
Their beds are stuffed with feathers, or at worst with plenty straw,
While your ol' soggy soogans may go floatin' down the draw.
They've got no rope to fret about that kinks up when it's wet;
There ain't no puddle formin' in the saddle where they set.
There's womenfolks to cook 'em up the chuck they most admire
While you gnaw cold, hard buscuits 'cause the cook can't build a fire.
When you're ridin' on the cattle range and hit a rainy spell,
Your whiskers git plumb mossy, and you note a mildewed smell
On everything from leather to the makin's in your sack;
And you git the chilly quivers from the water down your back.
You couldn't pull your boots off if you hitched 'em to a mule;
You think about them ribbon clerks, and call yourself a fool
For ever punchin' cattle with a horse between your knees,
Instead of sellin' ribbons and a-takin' of your ease.
You sure do git to ponderin' about them jobs in town,
Where slickers ain't a-drippin' when the rain comes sluicin' down.
It's misery in your gizzard, and you sure do aim to quit,
And take most any sheltered job you figger you can git.
But when you've got your neck all bowed to quit without a doubt,
The rain just beats you to it, and the sun comes bustin' out!
Your wet clothes start to steamin', and most everywhere you pass
You notice how that week of rain has livened up the grass.
That's how it is with cowboys when a rainy spell is hit:
They hang on till it's over -- then there ain't no need to quit!
~ S. O. Barker |
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poetry,
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Posted by JStandlee on January 22, 2009 15:58
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